Shaykh Muhammad Rafiq Tahir:
Whether the conversation between a non-maĥram man and woman occurs face-to-face, through mobile messages (messaging), or via social media chat, Allah Subĥānahu wa Ta‘ālā has prescribed the same principle and regulation for all. Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) states:
And when you ask them [the Prophet’s wives] for something you need, ask them from behind a screen. That is purer for your hearts and their hearts. [Al-Aĥzāb: 53]
From this, it is understood that a non-maĥram man and woman can talk to each other about necessary matters. And the manner of speaking should be such that the woman is behind a screen. When making calls on mobile phones or messengers, or during chat, the ‘screen’ is inherently present—unless someone eliminates this ‘screen’ by making a video call. However, the second important point mentioned in this verse is ‘necessary talk’! This is generally disregarded, and conversations occur without considering it. In this noble verse, this important point [about the purpose of the interaction] is mentioned before the mention of ĥijāb, which clarifies that conversation between a non-maĥram man and woman should relate only to ‘necessary and important matters’. There is no permission in Sharī‘ah for them merely to engage in ‘casual chat’! Understand this well.
Similarly, at another place, Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) states:
O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you fear Allah, then do not be soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should feel desire, but speak an appropriate word. [Al-Aĥzāb: 32]
In this verse, Allah Subĥānahu wa Ta‘ālā has stated two more principles for conversing with non-maĥrams:
1. The tone should not be alluring.
2. The speech should be ma‘rūf (appropriate/good).
Meaning, if a woman speaks during a conversation in such a tone that the disease of ‘passionate love’ (‘ishq) could arise in the hearts of men, then that tone is forbidden according to Sharī‘ah. Similarly, in written conversation too, it is necessary to keep this in mind and avoid words that cause gender-based attraction. And the conversation the man and woman are having should be ma‘rūf—that is, conversation of goodness, virtue, and piety, which Islamic Sharī‘ah does not prohibit.
Keeping the above rules and regulations in mind, a non-maĥram man and woman can converse with each other. The purest women of this Ummah, meaning the pure wives of the Leader of the Prophets, the esteemed Muĥammad Muŝťafā (peace be upon him), also used to converse with non-maĥram men keeping these principles in view. Similarly, the direct female students of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), meaning the female Companions (ŝaĥābiyyāt), also used to converse while adhering to these regulations (ďābiťon). Therefore, even today, if someone adheres to these regulations, there is no harm in their conversation. Meaning, if the conversation is such that it is necessary for the man to speak ‘directly’ to that woman, or the woman to that man, the manner of conversation is not alluring, the speech is ma‘rūf, and the rulings of ĥijāb are kept in consideration, then there is no harm.
Before marriage, fiancés are also considered ‘non-maĥram’. Therefore, conversation with them is also bound by these same regulations.
Here, it is very important to understand one crucial point, especially for women:
Their social media ID should be known to their walī amr (a maĥram male relative who is the woman’s guardian).
And if women use social media such as Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, Telegram, etc., they must be extremely cautious. And they must completely avoid the following mistakes:
1️⃣ Adding Boys: Do not add any ID belonging to men or boys. And if you receive a friend request under a girl’s name, you must ascertain that it is genuinely a sister’s ID. Could it not be that boys are sending you friend requests using fake IDs with female names? These often have girls’ pictures on them to infiltrate such girls’ profiles. In short, add only girls to your friend list, and only those girls whom you know are genuinely girls and also adhere to the Sharī‘ah! If you require religious information, you can like pages on Facebook that provide Islamic information. Your need for knowledge will be fulfilled through them.
2️⃣ Chatting with Boys: There is absolutely no need to chat with boys. As has been clarified above with proofs (dalā’il), there is absolutely no permission in Sharī‘ah to chat or converse with non-maĥrams for the purpose of ‘casual chat’ or merely for ‘greetings/supplications, asking about well-being’. Yes, in times of necessity, to the extent of the need, according to what the Sharī‘ah has permitted, some conversation can take place. But keep in mind that this permission is merely a dispensation; therefore, make minimal use of it.
3️⃣ Understand the Subtle Difference Between Necessary and Pointless Conversation: If you need information from a religious scholar, write your question concisely in three to four lines and send it. Otherwise, the conversation will lengthen and potentially never stop, leading to the danger of fitnah (temptation/trial). Women often start ‘casual chat’ assuming a man is religious, pious, a scholar of religion, or a fighter in the cause of Allah, which is forbidden in Sharī‘ah. Avoid this. Be ‘to the point’—that is, speak concisely and comprehensively. Here, also remember that whenever you chat with a non-maĥram man, do so in the presence of one of your maĥrams. This is a very effective means of remaining safe from fitnah.
4️⃣ Commenting on Others’ Posts: Do not comment from your ID on posts found on the pages of any religious or welfare organization or group. Otherwise, as a result, your ID will reach thousands, even millions, of men, and this will become a cause of fitnah!
5️⃣ Profile Picture: Do not put your picture on your profile, even if it is one with a niqāb. Some girls put pictures of their hands, feet, clothes, etc., on their profile, whereas the Sharī‘ah has commanded that all these be concealed.
6️⃣ Exercise Caution in Posting: Never share your sorrows and grief—for example: ‘I am worried,’ ‘I am depressed,’ ‘I am in great difficulty,’ etc.—with strangers on the internet, nor even with girls you know. This is a mistake that almost every girl makes on the internet and subsequently suffers harm. Similarly, if you put information about your attitudes and likes/dislikes—what color you like, what food you like, which shoes you like—on the internet, it will reach someone or other, carrying the risk of harm.
(Copied from the Shaikh’s Telegram Channel, handled by Ustadh Tahir Munir, Islamic University of Lahore.)
Saheehus-Seerah 