On your very first night, instead of speaking about the Deen, your goals, your responsibilities, or the future you hope to build together, begin by narrating your past affairs and relationships in detail. Reveal every sin Allah had mercifully concealed for you. Tear down the veil He placed over your mistakes, and then, in full Bollywood fashion, conclude with: “That was my past. Now I am all yours, and I will never do it again.”
Then watch how trust is shattered before it is even built, how peace is replaced with pain, and how your spouse may begin the marriage with hurt, suspicion, and resentment. In the worst case, they may not only push you away, but also expose what Allah had covered for you.
The believer is not commanded to uncover the sins that Allah has hidden. If Allah, out of His mercy, concealed your faults and granted you the chance to repent, then do not destroy yourself by exposing what He covered. Sincere tawbah wipes away sin, but publicly disclosing it only brings humiliation, unnecessary pain, and possible fitnah into your marriage.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“All of my Ummah will be forgiven except those who publicize their sins.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)
So if Allah has hidden your past, then keep it hidden. Repent sincerely, reform yourself completely, and honor the blessing of Allah’s concealment. Not every truth needs to be spoken, especially when speaking it only causes harm and opens doors that Allah Himself shut.
Lastly for the sake of Allah, dear parents, teach your children about marriage and its related issues before getting married. Because if they haven’t learnt it systematically with a Muslim scholar or student of knowledge, they would have surely taken it from Bollywood or Sas-Bahu dramas. And it shouldn’t be the case that your child finally learns about Islam in the Muslim marriage counselling center and says, “Oh I didn’t know this and didn’t know that!” and cries.
May Allah guide all of us.
(Penned by Mohammed bin Thajammul Hussain Manna)
Saheehus-Seerah 